Starting from zero. one.

This is a quick post. No paragraph titles.

My programming journey, or rather interest in computations, has taken a whole new life form. I’m not sure if I enjoy it. But it’s happening. It started, I’d like to say 3 months ago, when I started wanting to work with rust. It was this newer programming language, with fancy syntax, and given that I’m always attracted to the shiny new thing, I started working with it. Most of rust is based on the idea of ownership, which is a concept regarding memory. Being the smart 10x developer that I was, I realized, I have absolutely no fucking clue what memory is. Ok, I understand what it is, I mean i use RAM, I know the difference between RAM and SSD (hard memory?), but I had never used the fundamental variable that all programmers using memory had used. I have never used (till that point) pointers. Well what are pointers? They are basically just references to an object in memory. So when you store a value, a=3 for example, it is stored at a certain memory address. I’m not sure exactly how the address is determined, but I’m pretty sure its random? Anyways, a pointer is a variable the stores the memory address. If for say you have a large piece of data stored at a instead of just 3, than declaring a pointer will be less processed at that time(sorta). its weird. This entire pointers spiel has me digressing.

This entire thing of Rust->Memory got me thinking. Should I really be practicing high level languages? or should I be learning how everything actually works first. A video from Low Level (Great youtuber btw) told me I should be learning C. The original language. C was fun, but the more I started going lower level, the more barebones I started getting. Until eventually, a few months later, I’m learning Logic Gates. Yep, AND, XOR, NAND type gates. Learning how to do binary arithmetic (don’t understand it lol). And I’ve changed degree prospects. Aiming for Engineering now (equally as hard as computer science). I don’t know where this is taking me, but a talk with someone close to me, has made me think if all of this bs is even worth it. Do I enjoy what I’m doing? I honestly, have absolutely, utterly, no fucking clue. I have spent the better part of around a decade now, focusing on a computer only future. At this point, I don’t even remember why. I don’ think I have properly enjoyed computations in a while, and frankly I think its too late to change. I don’t know about the future. Either way, it’ll be etched in this blog. Thanks for reading, if you’re still here, or if you even exist.